The Art of Becoming a Bear

Well my faithful readers, it's official.  Spring is in the air.  You know what that means don't you?  Summer is right around the corner, breathing over your shoulder like Brainy used to over Helga Pataki's. 

With the approach of Summer of course, comes Graduation. Graduation from UNC is happening on May 5th and I will be one of the students walking.  Woot.  Anyways, I thought this would be a good opportunity for me to impart some wisdom and knowledge on those graduating not from college, but from High School.  I want to give you some helpful tips on making the transition from High School to college, specifically UNC.  With my help, who knows?  I could help you go from totally drab to totally fab.  From totally blah to totally Yah!  I could be your Michael Caine to your Sandra Bullock.  Well... lets get to it.

I heard one of our transfer admissions counselors tell a story recently.  She was talking on the phone with a prospective transfer student, when all of a sudden she heard the familiar sound of water quickly being swooshed down a porcelain bowl.  That's right, the prospective student flushed the toilet right on the phone with her!  So, here's Tip #1:  Don't answer a phone call from your future college until after you are done wit yo biznaz.  And definitely don't be the one to place the call if you're in the bathroom.  It just gives off a really stinky first impression... (pun intended).

Okay... here's another tip.  Working in the admissions office on a day to day basis, I have the opportunity and privilege to work with a lot of different people.  As part of that, a lot of personal information passes by my eyes, including email addresses.  Okay... with that, here comes Tip #2: When contacting your college of choice it's a good idea to have a professional email address.  hotandsassy123@yahoo.com is probably not the best choice... nor is texascheer4eva@gmail.com, nor puppyskullcrusher7@hotmail.com.  Instead, try something like 2cool4skool@gmail.com.  Playing hard to get is always good.  (jk 5000).

Speaking of first impressions, it is critical that if you are going to be living on campus, you make a good first impression with your new roommate right away.  Tip #3: One of the best ways to build up a good rapport with new people is to become a prankster, or a practical jokester.  For example, maybe your roommate goes out for a night.  This is a perfect opportunity to surprise them when they get back.  Here's a fine idea... set up a bucket of molasses above their door so when they walk in it plops on their head.  Then, while they're trying to get the bucket off their head, sneak up behind them and hit them with a feather pillow until it implodes and the feathers stick all over them.  This one is a classic and is sure to help the two of you become fast friends!  Heck, it worked in the parent trap!  Note: some of these jokes might only work in the movies, including the one I just mentioned.  Do not actually attempt. 


Listen folks, here's my number one tip for a successful time in college.  Get involved!  This is how you will meet people and make friends that you could have for the rest of your life... and that's no joke!  If you follow this advice, your transition from High School to college could be just as smooth as Zack Morris' from Bayside High to California University!


Sincerely,
Danny

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